The meat market...

I went to the bar tonight, what for I don't know. Every time I do now I sit there like a lump, like I'm waiting for something. And I know there isn't anything that I want from there. Before this change in me, I would go with the thought in mind that I would find some man to **** me senseless, and I did sometimes, only after getting so drunk that I would barely remember what I had done. And I thought I needed that at the time. It made me feel connected to my girl self that was deep inside me. Now that she's out in the open I have no reason for a tryst, or the wham bam thank you ma'am if you will. So now I go looking for company. The only thing is, everyone that is there is looking for someone to go to bed with and they aren't interested in a tranny who only wants conversation. Other than the obligatory, "Hello, how are you," I get nothing. I feel like a stranger in a place that I used to be the center of attraction. I have got to find something else to do, some place where I can fit in but not be someones sexual object for a short time. Where? That's the question.

Stephanie