When it rains, it pours

Monday evening it rained, a thunderstorm knocking out the electric about 1am Tuesday morning leaving us in the dark. I lay in bed not sleeping waiting for it to come on. At 5am when Patty Lou's alarm rang, I got up to help her navigate the dark house with a flashlight. Knowing that I don't sleep well, she sent me back to bed telling me she could get herself ready for work. She took the dog out so he could do his morning business, her sitting on the step waiting 'til he was done. He finished, she got up, missed the bottom step, twisted her ankle, fell in the mud breaking the small bone in her ankle. Amazingly, I hear her calling for help. I jump out of bed and find her crying, laying in the mud, unable to get up. Somehow I get her inside and cleaned up. I see it's real bad. Because we don't have any kind of insurance, she wanted to wait until I went to the clinic to pick up my blood work papers. At 8am we loaded up, painfully, and made our way to the clinic. The clinic is really just for basic care, and they don't have an x-ray machine, so after 3hours of phone calls,(trying to keep us from paying thousands of $'s) they made arrangements for her to be seen at the hospital. 3hours later, after putting a boot on her and a prescription for pain meds, we made it home in time for me to go to work. She will be off from work about a month. I get to work and find out that we lost the contract and I will be un-employed on Aug. 30th. At a little before midnight, I am in a state of shock as to how the last 24 hours have gone. I can't even cry. I know soon I will be in that dark corner I hide in watching life go by. My doubts about being able to remain presenting as female are overwhelming me. Please forgive me if I am absent from here, I need to mend myself, for I am broken.

Stephanie