The new higher dose of my anti-depression drug is not working for me. The depression isn't quite as bad, but now I have no feelings at all. My ambition to do anything, anything at all, has left me too. I sit like a zombie planted in front of the television. Even sitting here checking out how you, "the girls", are doing hasn't been interesting me, and that's way different from me being my normal self. I'm quite the curious type. (OK, I'm a nosey person!) My writing has dwindled to a trickle, not that I have anything to say, but that never stopped me before. Commenting on your posts has all but stopped too, and I'm very sorry for that. I just can't hold a thought long enough to form an opinion about anything. I have an appointment with my therapist in 9 days and I hope I can get through to her the importance of my HRT and my need to at least cut way back on this dose of Invega or stop it all together. I feel that if I can get back to my full dose of HRT, I wouldn't be needing an anti-depressant, and especially this one that's prescribed for bi-polar patients. Why she thought I needed that I don't know. I'm believing like some of you that I'm being used as a guinea pig being used for research. Well, it's time for the experiment to be over, I need my emotions back, even if some of them are bad. Not feeling is just as bad.
On a better note, Patty Lou is pushing herself pretty hard to get back to walking again. She tells me that there's just a lot of stiffness to her ankle and very little pain, but I know she's pushing herself so she can get back to work. She's the one that deals with the bills and she knows how deep of a hole we are in. My job search continues. Putting applications in gives me less and less hope that I'll get a job as Stephanie, I see the look in their eyes. ..."YOU want a job, like that?" ...It gets very discouraging.
I don't watch much football, but my Arkansas Razorbacks may have a chance to beat South Carolina so I'll be watching that this morning. Pre-game is coming up soon. Bye for now.