Tuesday, May 26, 2009

No help

Since I had to go to the clinic to pick-up my monthly prescriptions, I asked if they had a program for mental health help. I had heard they did, but was disappointed to hear that it was through the Community Counseling Center here in town. They are the same ones that I first went to nearly 40 yrs ago, me having gone to them maybe a dozen times though out the years til now. The last time I was there was almost 3yrs ago, seeking help after looking down the wrong end of a rifle. I didn't get any help, as usual, instead I started my transition. Their reduced rate, if you qualify, was $45 for a 40 min. session, now it's $80, very reasonable if you have money you can spend on that. I do not. I make a dollar an hr. more now than I did then with the cost of living double what it was then. I can afford it only if Patty Lou and I don't eat for a week. Other than that, they have a free 15 min. session on the first and third Monday of the month starting at 5 pm, when I'm at work. There are no GLBT groups close by, and I haven't been affiliated with a church in over 40 yrs. I am at a loss for what to do, where to go. I have an appointment to see my GP on next Tuesday, maybe he can help.
After leaving the multi-million dollar building housing the mental heath facility, a good thing did happen. I had a 15minute cleansing cry, my emotions pouring out of me. It didn't do my make-up any good and my eyes are all puffy, but it relieved some of the tension that has been building in me.
I will survive this as I have before, and I will have to again, it is re-occurring. Big hugs of gratitude to you girls who are there for me. I hope you know you are much more to me than friends.


1 comment:

alan said...

Handed a lot of issues from my Mom I've wished more than once I could go through some of them with someone but my wife is very "anti" about that due to some things in her own childhood. In my mid 40's I ran across some books that helped a bit, then when I found the blogworld suddenly I found others who had been through similar things and just knowing that helps.

I'm an e-mail away if you ever want to talk...