Thursday, November 6, 2008

The final straw...

All of my youngest daughters life she has been causing pain in mine and my wife's life. In a way I have come to expect it. Yesterday was yet another time. (See previous blog) I'm sure she will again, but I'm going to attempt to limit the amount of times this happens. No more phone calls, emails, no communication. I'm not going to let her feed me her laughing voice, lulling me into thinking that everything is alright with us, and then stabbing me in the back again. Transition, for me, has been all about self preservation. Simply put, I was very close to not being in this world before I went full time. And although they say you can't die from a broken heart, it certainly drains the life out of you. No more...

.....Cynthia, someday when you read this I hope you understand, your decisions you make cause pain. The influence your prejudiced husband has on you causes pain. I am sorry it came to this.

Stephanie

3 comments:

Michelle said...

Hi Stephanie,
I'm REALLY sorry that you have to go through this. It really saddens me that so many in our trans family have to deal with the misconceptions of our condition. I myself have had to deal with it in my life, but luckily (so far) my kids are ok. But I have not gone full time YET so we'll see. All I can say hon is hold your head high and be true to yourself. If you need to talk, let me know. I'm a good listener :). Anyway, take care hon, I hope you can have a nice relaxing weekend.
Hugs Michelle

Stephanie said...

Thanks Michelle. It really hurts me because she knows that Thanksgiving is her mothers biggest time of the year. It's the only time when everyone is together. Me being the cause of her not coming is real hard to take. I won't stop her mother from talking to her, but I have to distance myself from her, even though I don't want to. I don't like running away from problems, seems I have done that all my life, but I'm afraid things will get worse if I don't. Maybe someday things will be better between us. I hope so...

alan said...

Some seem to view love as something they should use as a weapon...though not going through the same things you are in these posts, believe me, you are not alone in this world!

You are not repulsive! There is not something wrong with you!

"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!" It's not like someone would undertake your journey on "a lark"!

That someone would seek to use their love to control you in spite of how unhappy you were is something that they will have to answer for, not you!

I hope somehow you can have a wonderful holiday despite all of this!

alan