Monday, November 10, 2008

"Looks like it's me and you, Babe"

That's what Patty Lou's first words were when she got home from work today. Meaning that now neither daughter is coming for Thanksgiving dinner. Yep, even the one I work with has let her husband come up with an excuse to not be here. So, I'm good enough to work for him but he won't sit down and eat with me. If I didn't need this job I'd tell everyone where to go. They know how important this holiday is for Patty Lou, but they can't see past me. Needless for me to say, I'm in a real bad way right now. My whole world has bailed on me and it's taking Patty Lou down with me. I can live with it, but the thought of my wife hurting because of me is just too much. She says it's alright, but I know better, she's hurting. I don't know what to do. I can't go back to my old life, I just can't. I want to run, I don't know where, I want to hide, the bottle is calling me. I don't dare answer, I may never return. How can family be so hard when the rest of the world is so easy? I thank God for Patty Lou, I thank God for Patty Lou....

I hate me, and I hate writing this. Sorry...

Stephanie

3 comments:

Lori D said...

I know it's a painful thing to go through, and I know the guilt you feel. However, if she loves you, you can love you. It sounds like she'd want that too.

Renee said...

Lori's advice is good. Sometimes a spouse leans on you, sometimes you lean on them, and quite often you just lean on each other.

Stephanie said...

Girls, that's the only thing in my life that's been constant, our love for each other. It will remain forever, and that sure feels good to know. I'm pretty sure, when one of us passes, the other will follow shortly of a broken heart.