Wednesday, December 3, 2008

What, me worry?

I'm having too easy of a time in this transition, I must not be doing it right. Or am I doing it right and all of you are doing it wrong? No, can't be. Maybe I'm a greater number on the 'How trans are you?' scale. No, certainly not. A pea shy of a full pod, and just don't have the sense to know any better? There's a plausible answer. ..You tell me.
...In my blog reading, I see girl after girl describing in agony how her worries over family, worries over work, worries of how she looks, is she doing the right thing, what will her future be, worry, worry, worry. Could it be there is an epidemic in the trans community? First one writes about it, then two. Pretty soon the whole class has seen the note and everyone is infected, affected. We get an 'I have to be worried, I have to be anxious' attitude, everyone else is, it must be mandatory, or else I might not be trans. Why do we put all that on ourselves?
...Before the big switcheroo, (personally I don't think it's that big a deal) did you worry about work, family, friends liking you, am I doing the right thing for my future? Yep, we did, but nowhere near the extent that we do after our transition started. And why do we when we really don't have to. If something didn't work out to the best before the change, what did we do? Huh? It's an easy question. ......We did, (say it with me class), SOMETHING ELSE! ...Yep, life went on. And that's what will happen if everything falls apart on us in the start, middle, or even in the end of our transition. We will just do something else.
...When we started this exploration, we did it because we couldn't stand staying the way we were. Or, at least I hope that's why you got on this roller coaster. If not, bail out now! So let's say your sitting in the car and the coaster doesn't go. You get out and get on the log ride. Or, maybe it goes, but it stops upside down with you hanging there. Your not going to just disappear. The ride will either go forward again, or eventually you will get down and you'll go get on the log ride. And suppose you get to the end of the ride and think, "well, that wasn't what I thought it would be." What do you do? You go get on the log ride. OK, so what am I trying to say here? Oh, ya. ...I think we put too much emphasis on life. When you look at the big picture, we are really only a slightly smarter animal, whose life, most of us, won't amount to a hill of beans one hundred years from now. We try our best to make the right choices, but before, during, or after the transition, there were, and are no guaranties. If you find you've made the wrong choice, do something else. Stop worrying so much. It's as simple as keeping your head afloat while your on the log ride!

Stephanie

2 comments:

Angel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shauna Baggtt said...

Perfect is all I can say to that.