On our way back home from 'date night', Patty Lou and I were discussing Cloe's and Rene's marriage. She could see that they didn't seem happy just like most of us did. She said Rene was still mourning the loss of 'Ted'. And then she told me something that about floored me. She said she had to mourn my death, (Steve's) before she could move forward with Stephanie. She had never told me this before. She also reiterated that Stephanie and Steve were two different people entirely, Steve being a rotten bastard of a husband, and Stephanie a loving, gentle, caring partner. (everyone who knew me even in my crossdressing days said this also, I didn't think so) You've read the same from me, so you know that I already knew that, but to have her say it to me, well, it was another big surprise. I didn't have a clue she felt like that. It seemed to me when I went full time, that after a few months of slight tension between us, things started to get better and kept improving. And they're still getting better every day. I thought I knew Patty Lou, and I thought I could tell everything that went on in her head. 36 years together and I missed something as important as that. And now I wonder what else could I be missing. Am I so wrapped up in myself that I don't see how my transition affects my wife? This is one scary thought. One that needs much more examination. We , or I should say, Steve and Pat, never talked about things together, we kept our thoughts to ourselves, or screamed them at each other once an argument started. Actually sitting down and discussing what's on our minds is a new concept to us, one that needs to come more often, and much more freely. Since we know we will be together forever, this new communication between us can only make our love for each other grow stronger.
...This life I'm now living can be sooo different at times, but sooo much better than before.