My therapy session. Well, ok, gee, what to say. This is going to be different, different from all the rest of the psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, ..head shrinkers that I've been to in my years of trying to find who I am, what I am. I'm even wondering if I want or should keep seeing her. Let me explain.
Dr. H is not only a therapist, but also a research type ...whatever, (I'm not sure of the word) that sees me as a project to study. I don't know if I like this or not. She's wanting me to meet a professor at one of our major teaching hospitals in Little Rock, so I can take questions from learning therapists. This has me feeling like I'm going to be put under a microscope. Some of you know of my fear of being 'on stage', and this looks as though it's headed in that direction. ..."See the tranny? Jump tranny, jump!" ... I keep thinking though, that this may be my only way to move forward. I don't foresee any time in the future when I will be financially able to afford SRS, not that following this though would lead to that, but closer. I don't know what to do. All I wanted was someone with a little understanding about being transsexual to tell my problems to. What I got is a new set of problems. I guess the question is, "Do I want to be a guinea pig, in trade of moving forward?" Right now, I just don't know.