Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Transsexual Therapy, class of ......

My therapy session. Well, ok, gee, what to say. This is going to be different, different from all the rest of the psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, ..head shrinkers that I've been to in my years of trying to find who I am, what I am. I'm even wondering if I want or should keep seeing her. Let me explain.
Dr. H is not only a therapist, but also a research type ...whatever, (I'm not sure of the word) that sees me as a project to study. I don't know if I like this or not. She's wanting me to meet a professor at one of our major teaching hospitals in Little Rock, so I can take questions from learning therapists. This has me feeling like I'm going to be put under a microscope. Some of you know of my fear of being 'on stage', and this looks as though it's headed in that direction. ..."See the tranny? Jump tranny, jump!" ... I keep thinking though, that this may be my only way to move forward. I don't foresee any time in the future when I will be financially able to afford SRS, not that following this though would lead to that, but closer. I don't know what to do. All I wanted was someone with a little understanding about being transsexual to tell my problems to. What I got is a new set of problems. I guess the question is, "Do I want to be a guinea pig, in trade of moving forward?" Right now, I just don't know.



Leslie Ann said...

Maybe you can think of it another way. These people are hungry for knowledge of the transgender experience, and they want to learn from someone who is actively living it. Having more knowledgeable professionals is good for ALL transpeople. These are people with resources and an interest in you. I don't see where you lose anything with this, and you might gain something for yourself and the larger community. Just my two cents, as always.

Love ya, Steph!

chrissie said...

Leslie Ann has got it right, I think, Steph.

You have nowt to lose and a WHOLE LOT to gain.

TS folk get dealt a losuy hand when they are born, but sometiems along their path they draw a couple of good cards.

I think that's happened to you now, so play them wisely, cariad!

lots of love

Melissa said...


At least she knows something about transgender issues, and is asking your permission. Tell her about your fears of being put on display and being used as a guinea pig. She should respect your vulnerability,and be able to reassure you that you will be protected. If not, tell her no thanks.