3611 Old Dallas Rd.

When we moved out here in the boonies in '87, it was peaceful. The road was dirt, which that dry summer turned into 8 inches of dust. Thank goodness a car would pass by about every three hours. I had a mother-in-law living a 1/2 mile away, evil woman, but she didn't bother anyone because she was too lazy to go anywhere. Down the dirt road beside us, more like a long driveway, lived an old man in a ramshackle cabin made up of scrap lumber. He was a good neighbor to have, you never seen him other than him going to town once a week. One winter I farted around and left my firewood supply dwindle to nothing. Him seeing me in the snow picking up pine knots to burn in our wood stove, about an hour later, here he comes with a load of firewood. A good neighbor. It was two miles to the next house, I never knew the people who lived there, I was just as reclusive as the rest of the people who lived out here. The road got paved, the neighborhood changed, with houses popping up everywhere. But still, other than a wave, you never interacted with your neighbor because, like me, they wanted their privacy. This quiet, country life was what I needed, sort of a place to be myself, my crossdressing self, hiding from the prying eyes of city life. Over the past two years, my "all girl, all the time" status, has brought many changes, including my need to be with people. I shyed away from them before, now I crave their company. I have at least two more years on a bankruptcy until I can sell this place and find us a house in town. I'd like to buy one now when the housing market is geared for buying, and then sell this house later when the market improves, if it does. But that's not possible, my finances aren't there. Maybe I'm fantasizing what it will be like living in town with houses all around me, neighbors to meet, friends visiting. The neighbors may want to be left alone, they haven't changed, I have, and they may not want to know the transsexual living next door. But I'm going to knock on their door and say Hi, because this girl is slowly coming out of her self imposed exile, out of her shell, and wants to meet the world. I still don't have the comfort level with people that I want to have, but it's a far cry from what it was, and will only get better as time goes by. The male me wanted to hide, the female me wants to be out there. Most people wouldn't understand that, but us transsexuals do. It's great to be real.

Stephanie