Tuesday, September 8, 2009

We get smarter as we get older

Yah, right!
Some things I've recently learned.

1. Just because the rose bush is dead, that doesn't mean the thorns won't stick you.
2. Before bathing your dog in the bathtub, close the bathroom door.
3. When the label reads, "Wear gloves when using", wear gloves. Some cleaners will eat the skin off of your hands.
4. Skin pealing off of your hands should never be pulled.
5. Never fry bacon naked.(I already knew this from past experience. But I took a refresher course yesterday!)
6. After cutting a piece of metal, it is hot. (This I already knew from previous experience. Aren't refresher courses wonderful!)
7. Never say anything bad about your wife's child, even if it's your child too.
8. Always smell your milk before drinking.
9. If you go outside without your dentures in, someone is sure to drop by.
10. Never pick your nose after handling jalapeno peppers. (again, a refresher course)
11. .....and the list will keep on growing!



Leslie Ann said...

Wikipedia would be a lot more useful if you were contributing your knowledge to it. You've saved me some pain today!

caroline said...

Experience would be a fine thing if we had good memories to go with it. Naked bacon frying sounds fun, never tried that.

Caroline XX

Melissa said...

LOL! I can personally vouch for #5 (OUCH!) and #10, although on #10, I touched an area a good deal more sensitive than my nose!

Thanks for the laugh!
Melissa XX

caroline said...

Am i the only one who has not tried the bacon thing? What exactly am I missing here? Am I just too innocent to think something up?

Done #10 like Melissa, put me off peppers for life!

Caroline XX

chrissie said...

You could have added...
Always check to see that the tube of toothpaste you have picked up and squirted onto your brush IS a tube of toothpaste, and not a tube of Deep Heat or a tube of Nappy Cream, before you start to brush your teett with it.


chrissie said...

oh yeah, and in line with no 10, don't scratch your nose when you have loads of Swafega on your hands.


alan said...

My skin betraying me in it's old age has led to my having to wear gloves just to wash dishes; if I forget I pay for it for about 3 days in Aveeno and steroid cream.

Along with Chrissie, between the toothpaste and the soap pumps and all, brushing your teeth when your bleary-eyed is a dangerous thing of late!

7 has gotten me in more trouble through the years...the boys are 30 and 31 now and it still does!