Thursday, August 27, 2009

Expectations

Although I'm someone whose expectations are fairly low all the time, especially when it comes to other people, I find myself still disappointed with them over and over again. I didn't think there would be a best wishes party with Dixie cups and paper plates, but since everyone knew that tonight was my last night at work, I thought I'd get at the very least a goodbye, or a wish of luck. But I got nothing. No hug, no "see ya 'round", nothing. In fact, it was as though nobody knew what to say to me. Except for one "Hi Stephanie" when I first arrived, they were quiet. I guess I just expect too much. Or maybe I'm a needy person. Or maybe even after all these years of having my feelings stepped on, they still aren't callused as much as I thought they were. Or maybe I got what I asked for when I first went full time there. I wanted to be thought of as "the cleaning girl", not a transgendered cleaning girl, just a cleaning girl. Cleaning girls aren't very high up on the corporate ladder of life. Girls in that low position don't get parties when they leave. Guess I was just one of the girls. The cleaning girl.

Stephanie

6 comments:

Jill Davidson said...

It's really disappointing that they didn't have some kind of goodbye for you. I remember my first time in public as Jill, at a mall, and what surprised me most is how invisible I felt - like people looked through me or around me. I'had that feeling again this week (I've been full time as Jill for the last 8 days). I've decided that middle-aged women tend to be invisible to a lot of people - maybe that applies the same if we are cleaning ladies. Still, it doesn't feel good.

Melissa said...

That's really sad, Stephanie. You know, some people are just ill-bred.

I worked with a lot of people like that over the years. Where I worked, EVERYONE who retired got a large aerial photograph of the plant, mounted on a poster board, with the signatures of all of the people who knew them over the years. The posters were ordered by the employee's supervisor, several weeks in advance of their retirement, so everyone would have time to sign it. I never saw mine in any of the shops in the weeks preceding my retirement, and on retirement day, I found out why. My cretin supervisor, never bothered to order one. He also failed to get me my framed, 37 year service certificate. He did book a conference room and order a cake and drinks from the cafeteria, but he didn't have to do that until the last minute.

Melissa XX

Leslie Ann said...

That does realy suck, Steph, but let me take the other side for a moment. I'm someone who never knows what to say at difficult times, like funerals (and layoffs). I'm betting that some of these people do love you, but they don't know how to talk to you around the elephant in the room. What do you say to someone who has lost their job, especially when you still have yours? They fear that you resent their better fortune.

You got a raw deal, and your friends should've done something for you, but the one you should feel antipathy for is the manager that canceled your contract. She's the villain.

I hope things turn around for you soon, Steph.

Amy K. said...

That really bites. You're upset, and understandably so. Hell, I would be. I've given up trying to understand people (for now, anyway), but it seems like Leslie Ann has some good advice. For what it's worth, I'm sorry, hun. :(

alan said...

Through my 30 years I watched the elaborate retirement dinners and parties at GM, looking forward to my own. Of course, a few years ago the company quit buying the cakes, so the Union picked them up; the dinners were set up by co-workers. In the 6 months before I retired my entire team changed employees except for me, the ones coming in were from all over the country and none to happy to be there; some of them were going to be retiring in 6 months to a year and just had to move to be able to...

One night a week we'd order pizza, on another Chinese. On pizza night I didn't have to pay for mine...

The Union rep who was supposed to order the cakes had also decided not to bother; a committeeman who didn't even represent me anymore found out and went and paid for one out of his own pocket...of course it showed up a last break, too late to share with those I'd of liked to.

I think most people are so focused on their own little worlds and their own little troubles so intently now that they aren't bothered about anyone or anything else anymore. One of the reasons I love the people I've found in this little world we meet in...

Hugs, my friend...your bound for better things and places!

alan

Angel said...
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